The Diatribe: Dick Cheney Edition
Submitted by J Boogie [TLL] on Friday, 13 February 2009Comments
Welcome to the first edition of Diatribe. A space specially reserved for TLL to go absolutely ape-shit nuts. Much worse than unfiltered (which is basically PG-13 at worst), diatribe will be directed at specific individuals. Harsh language will be used. This is the blog that gets written while bumpin’ 50 Cent (Hollow Through Him), Old School Kurupt (Streetz iz a mutha – Hidden Track), and Em (nail in the coffin) all on a continuous loop (literally).
So who gets the honor of being Diatribe’s first victim? The candidates were all sufficiently deserving of a verbal beat down. Those who didn’t make the cut will get shredded another day. But today’s winner is none other than The Evil Emperor himself - Dick Cheney.
First, the name. Dick is out of fashion. The last cool person with the name “Dick” was…well, a comic book character. Cheney likely has a heart made of pure darkness. If he touches you, you die. Flowers wilt in his presence. You know what killed the Dinosaurs? Cheney. The fucker is ageless. Do you realize how long he’s been affecting our nation’s policies? Since before we had a fucking nation.
Let’s get something straight. Cheney shot a guy in the face. Called it an accident. He completely got away with it. And to top it off, he made the guy who just got plowed in the face with a spray of bullets apologize! What the fuck! What kind of human being makes his victim apologize? A ruthless gangsta ass motherfucker, that’s who (in that regard, I don’t dislike him). But you place anyone else on the trigger-end of that gun, and it’s a different story.
How many of you were watching President Obama’s inauguration? Everyone (perhaps not rednecks not willing to accept that a black man had just ascended to the top position in our government). And when the hundreds of thousands of spectators stood to welcome the new president, guess who didn’t join in. Yup, Dick Fucking Cheney. The ex-veep was wheeled out onto the podium area in a wheelchair. The story was that he injured his back earlier that day. Do you believe him? This is the same guy who told us Iraq was an immediate threat to our national security. Either the Karma Police finally finished their donuts, or Cheney just simply refused to stand up for Obama. Cheney, you may quite possibly be a secret leader of the KKK. It honestly wouldn’t surprise me. It was a tag-team effort of Dick-Rumsfeld that led to the eventual resignation of Colin Powell. All signs point to mad-haterism on Dick’s part. Just Dick being a dick I guess.
Most recently, the ex-veep went on an idiotic rant in an interview with Politico, stating that he believes the Obama administration’s policies will result in a high probability that terrorists will succeed in a catastrophic nuclear or biological attack in the coming years. Nobody cares what you think anymore Dick. Go save the fucking planet like Gore. It has become pretty clear that anything you say or warn against isn’t true. You warned of biological and nuclear weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Non-existent. You just don’t have any clout left. You and your Neo-Con cronies should all just crawl into a cave and disappear. The world would be a better place. Thank you for participating. You have been our first victim.
-TLL
